What to do if your friend is considering suicide.

I recently spoke to a group of high school students about suicide.  As I was speaking, I came to the realization that a lot of people are uncomfortable talking about it.  In fact, the teacher asked me to come in to address the class because she herself was unsure about how to broach the subject.  Suicide rates (including both attempted and completed) among Canadian young adults and adolescents are alarmingly high.  Check out the Statistics Canada information here if you are interested in the figures.

One of the problems is the stigma so often attached to the topic.  No one wants to talk about it.  If someone does commit suicide family members and friends speak about it in hushed tones.  Everyone judges the "suicidal girl" at school (or the colleague with "mental problems" in the work place).  But, considering suicide is something that can happen to any person, no matter their socio-economic status or past history it is worthwhile for every person to know what to do or say to a friend or loved one who is at risk.  After all, would you rather have a somewhat awkward conversation or a dead friend?

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Do's 
Ask direct straightforward questions in a calm manner: “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?  Have you been thinking about killing yourself?”  These questions are very hard to ask in the moment, but could save a life.

Be a good listener and be very supportive without being fake.  You probably won't be able to come up with a solution for them right away, so the best thing you can do is listen to their concerns.

If they aren’t in any immediate harm try to persuade the person to get professional help and assist them in trying to get the help.

Try to figure out how serious they are.  A lot of people think about killing themselves, but don’t have a plan.  Ask them questions about their feelings, important relationships, who else they’ve talked to about it and if they have thought of a plan.  If they have a precise plan (e.g. "I’m going to use a gun, I’m going to hang myself, etc"), it is an emergency and you should call someone immediately.

Dont's
Don’t refuse to talk to the person about it if they approach you.  Also, Don’t react with humour, disapproval or repulsion.  It may seem awkward at first, but they sought you out for a reason. 

Don’t say “everything’s going to be fine,” or “you’ll get over it.”  If the solution were that easy, they wouldn’t have come to you in the first place.


Don’t ignore the conversation and pretend it never happened.


Who to call?
911 - Local emergency services

Your friend's parent or loved one

If you are in the Fredericton area:
Mobile Crisis Team – after hours (4 PM-1 AM) – (506) 453-2132

For the rest of New Brunswick, the Chimo Helpline can put you in touch with resources in your community:
Chimo Helpline – 1-800-667-5005

A great number of people who commit suicide do so without talking to a professional first.  Friends and family are usually the first to notice that something is amiss.  Keep your eyes open for warning signs like depression, hopelessness, increased isolation, and self-blame.  And don't be afraid to ask if they are thinking about killing themselves.  You could save a life.